Monday, April 8, 2013




Sermon for The Second Sunday of Easter
April 7, 2013
John 20:19-31

I really love Thomas.  I have loved Thomas for years because he has always stood as a symbol that it is ok to be skeptical and have questions about faith.  A little company in that area has always been welcome.  This year, though, I have a new take on Thomas…..new for me at least.

I met this week with the women’s book group, and in the course of our discussion I said something they claimed to have not heard, though I thought I had been saying it quite a bit lately.    I’m pretty sure I have said it among other clergy, and maybe even in front of the bishop’s assistant.  I don’t think I’ve said it around a bishop, and that is probably good.  I have been conscious of saying it because it kind of represents a new place in life for me.  What I said was I have finally gotten to an age where I think I’m old enough to believe what I want to believe.  That’s probably not the sort of thing to be saying around bishops, so in case I end up hearing from one of them, let me practice explaining what I mean when I say I’m old enough to believe whatever I want.

For too much of my life, my faith has been shaped by wanting to be some other kind of Christian.   You all know I make jokes about those Baptists who just seemed to be everywhere when I was growing up, and you know I use them as foils, straw men, for making my liberal theological points from time to time.  But the truth is, I always kind of wanted what they seemed to have.  I really liked their confidence and assurance that they had everything they needed.  The trouble was that by the time I became aware of their message, I had experienced enough death and sickness among loved ones that I already had some serious questions about a good God and bad things happening.  And, some of their basic beliefs like God sending people who’d never heard of him to hell just seemed wrong.  So I lived with a desire for what they had and some strong hesitations about accepting what they believed without any questions.  

How many of you have ever been to a Baptist funeral?  You know they don’t just bury folks, they work in an altar call as long as they have all those people visiting.  The preacher would say, “now I know there’s someone in this room who has been wanting to come forward, wanting to cross that line…”  and I would wonder how the heck he knew.  There were times in my formation when their way of believing looked easy but I just couldn't go there.

I was drawn to the great theologians with their soaringly complicated and articulate explanations about God.  I read theologians who inspired me and made me believe that hard study might lead to really solid ground in this faith that I was a part of.  I read and studied and wanted what they had, but pretty much any answer they provided led to a new series of questions.

I even tried being a charismatic for a while.  That looked good, but my questions came back.

I struggled sometimes, wondering if maybe God wasn’t interested in me because my faith didn’t seem as sure or as confident as that of people around me. 

What took me years to learn, and what I am now beginning to celebrate is the realization that there are all kinds of ways to be in this faith of ours.  And that those different paths can all be faithful and honest and good.  

We are all wired differently.   Some people are more comfortable with major questions left open ended.  Infinite possibility sounds just fine to some.    Others are wired to work within well defined frameworks,  those folks want to know the rules, the givens, they accept the authority of others easily and having done so, are free to explore the deeper meaning of what they have been given.  Some of us have trouble accepting what is handed to us until we work with it, question it, massage it and can finally call it our own.  I just happen one of those people.  

So when I've heard Jesus saying blessed are those who have not seen, but have believed, I took him to be saying blessed are those who are confident in their faith.  That kind of confidence sure looked blessed from my position.   I spent a lot of time wanting to be one of those people.  When I asked why they believed as they did or how they became so sure they would say, well, its in the Bible, or Jesus said so, or that’s the way you’re supposed to believe.  They made it sound so easy and easy sounded good to me. I wanted to be like those folks.  Instead, I kept finding myself to be a question asking, show me kind of disciple, wanting explanations, extremely uncomfortable with the contradictions I heard and with the signs of institutional pressure on the old stories.  Like a four year old who’s learning to work the universe, I asked the question why a lot. And to many of the answers I would ask it again.   Yes, but why?   Why can’t I just believe this stuff and move on with the rest of my life like all those other people I see?  And here’s Jesus saying the ones who can easily believe what they are told are indeed blessed.  Where does that leave the rest of us?  

Well, I think it leaves us where Thomas is.  And in the story we have this morning, Jesus meets Thomas right where he is.  He loves Thomas and works with him to help him find a faith he can embrace.  To Thomas, who doesn't buy what his friends are telling him, who can't believe just because they want him to, Jesus says, "ok Thomas, how can I help you here?  Here are my hands, my side, whatever you need."

What I hear today is Jesus saying there are many ways to believe.   Not just one or two but many.   If you feel yourself wanting something from faith but don’t know exactly why or what you really believe, Jesus says I’ll work with you and we’ll find something that you can be comfortable with.   Wanting something we can’t really name, or fully understand or even imagine in any detail is, I think, a sign that we’re on the right track.  One of the things we know about God..if we can even talk like that..is that God and where our lives might go in company with God is beyond our knowing.  Like Thomas, we sometimes just want to be in that room, hoping, but maybe not really expecting that something will happen.  Hoping but not really expecting that something will touch us in a way that feels real.  

Being old enough to believe what I want is, for me, a way of speaking about trust built over time.  About little moments of insight, affirmation, awe, accomplishment, surrender….little moments that add up over the years, all conveying the message that even though I don’t feel as confident about my faith as I might like, even though I’m not yet transformed into the person I think my faith is calling me to be, still, I am walking this faith road as best I can.  Thomas Merton said just our desire to walk that road with God makes God happy.   There are a thousand doors into those little moments of affirmation that become a life of faith.  

Someone once said the Christian life involves offering as much of ourselves as we can to as much of God as we can understand.  I like that.  We are called to do the best we can with the insights we are offered.  We come at this faith of ours from a lot of directions with a lot of different experiences.  There many, many faithful ways to live into our Christianity.  And Jesus meets us where we are, like Thomas, and says how can I help make this work for you.  

Some of what I missed out on by not becoming a Baptist was getting to preach while waving a floppy Bible and doing altar calls during funerals.  I think I could imagine some others who might be ready for an altar call today.  There isn't a person in this room today who doesn't belong here.  

I know there’s someone in this room today who is here and doesn’t really know why.  Well come on down.  You belong here,  This is your place too.

And I know there is someone here today who came because you love your spouse and your spouse wants to be here.  That's a fine reason for being here.  Come on down.  

And I know there is someone here who is trying to connect their kids to something deeper.  You belong too.  

Someone here today came because you felt a little funny about not having been for a while.  You belong at the table too.  

You know what brought you here today.  Whatever it is, it’s as good a reason to be here as anyone else’s.   Just like he did with Thomas, Jesus works with everyone who shows up, whenever we show up, to help us find our way.  The call on this day in this place is for everyone.  Amen.