Sermon for The Second Sunday of Easter

April 7, 2013

John 20:19-31

I really love Thomas.  I have loved Thomas for years because he has always stood as a symbol that it is ok to be skeptical and have questions about faith.  A little company in that area has always been welcome.  This year, though, I have a new take on Thomas…..new for me at least.

I met this week with the women’s book group, and in the course of our discussion I said something they claimed to have not heard, though I thought I had been saying it quite a bit lately.    I’m pretty sure I have said it among other clergy, and maybe even in front of the bishop’s assistant.  I don’t think I’ve said it around a bishop, and that is probably good.  I have been conscious of saying it because it kind of represents a new place in life for me.  What I said was I have finally gotten to an age where I think I’m old enough to believe what I want to believe.  That’s probably not the sort of thing to be saying around bishops, so in case I end up hearing from one of them, let me practice explaining what I mean when I say I’m old enough to believe whatever I want.

For too much of my life, my faith has been shaped by wanting to be some other kind of Christian.   You all know I make jokes about those Baptists who just seemed to be everywhere when I was growing up, and you know I use them as foils, straw men, for making my liberal theological points from time to time.  But the truth is, I always kind of wanted what they seemed to have.  I really liked their confidence and assurance that they had everything they needed.  The trouble was that by the time I became aware of their message, I had experienced enough death and sickness among loved ones that I already had some serious questions about a good God and bad things happening.  And, some of their basic beliefs like God sending people who’d never heard of him to hell just seemed wrong.  So I lived with a desire for what they had and some strong hesitations about accepting what they believed without any questions.  

How many of you have ever been to a Baptist funeral?  You know they don’t just bury folks, they work in an altar call as long as they have all those people visiting.  The preacher would say, “now I know there’s someone in this room who has been wanting to come forward, wanting to cross that line…”  and I would wonder how the heck he knew.  There were times in my formation when their way of believing looked easy but I just couldn't go there.

I was drawn to the great theologians with their soaringly complicated and articulate explanations about God.  I read theologians who inspired me and made me believe that hard study might lead to really solid ground in this faith that I was a part of.  I read and studied and wanted what they had, but pretty much any answer they provided led to a new series of questions.

I even tried being a charismatic for a while.  That looked good, but my questions came back.

I struggled sometimes, wondering if maybe God wasn’t interested in me because my faith didn’t seem as sure or as confident as that of people around me. 

What took me years to learn, and what I am now beginning to celebrate is the realization that there are all kinds of ways to be in this faith of ours.  And that those different paths can all be faithful and honest and good.  

We are all wired differently.   Some people are more comfortable with major questions left open ended.  Infinite possibility sounds just fine to some.    Others are wired to work within well defined frameworks,  those folks want to know the rules, the givens, they accept the authority of others easily and having done so, are free to explore the deeper meaning of what they have been given.  Some of us have trouble accepting what is handed to us until we work with it, question it, massage it and can finally call it our own.  I just happen one of those people.  

So when I've heard Jesus saying blessed are those who have not seen, but have believed, I took him to be saying blessed are those who are confident in their faith.  That kind of confidence sure looked blessed from my position.   I spent a lot of time wanting to be one of those people.  When I asked why they believed as they did or how they became so sure they would say, well, its in the Bible, or Jesus said so, or that’s the way you’re supposed to believe.  They made it sound so easy and easy sounded good to me. I wanted to be like those folks.  Instead, I kept finding myself to be a question asking, show me kind of disciple, wanting explanations, extremely uncomfortable with the contradictions I heard and with the signs of institutional pressure on the old stories.  Like a four year old who’s learning to work the universe, I asked the question why a lot. And to many of the answers I would ask it again.   Yes, but why?   Why can’t I just believe this stuff and move on with the rest of my life like all those other people I see?  And here’s Jesus saying the ones who can easily believe what they are told are indeed blessed.  Where does that leave the rest of us?  

Well, I think it leaves us where Thomas is.  And in the story we have this morning, Jesus meets Thomas right where he is.  He loves Thomas and works with him to help him find a faith he can embrace.  To Thomas, who doesn't buy what his friends are telling him, who can't believe just because they want him to, Jesus says, "ok Thomas, how can I help you here?  Here are my hands, my side, whatever you need."

What I hear today is Jesus saying there are many ways to believe.   Not just one or two but many.   If you feel yourself wanting something from faith but don’t know exactly why or what you really believe, Jesus says I’ll work with you and we’ll find something that you can be comfortable with.   Wanting something we can’t really name, or fully understand or even imagine in any detail is, I think, a sign that we’re on the right track.  One of the things we know about God..if we can even talk like that..is that God and where our lives might go in company with God is beyond our knowing.  Like Thomas, we sometimes just want to be in that room, hoping, but maybe not really expecting that something will happen.  Hoping but not really expecting that something will touch us in a way that feels real.  

Being old enough to believe what I want is, for me, a way of speaking about trust built over time.  About little moments of insight, affirmation, awe, accomplishment, surrender….little moments that add up over the years, all conveying the message that even though I don’t feel as confident about my faith as I might like, even though I’m not yet transformed into the person I think my faith is calling me to be, still, I am walking this faith road as best I can.  Thomas Merton said just our desire to walk that road with God makes God happy.   There are a thousand doors into those little moments of affirmation that become a life of faith.  

Someone once said the Christian life involves offering as much of ourselves as we can to as much of God as we can understand.  I like that.  We are called to do the best we can with the insights we are offered.  We come at this faith of ours from a lot of directions with a lot of different experiences.  There many, many faithful ways to live into our Christianity.  And Jesus meets us where we are, like Thomas, and says how can I help make this work for you.  

Some of what I missed out on by not becoming a Baptist was getting to preach while waving a floppy Bible and doing altar calls during funerals.  I think I could imagine some others who might be ready for an altar call today.  There isn't a person in this room today who doesn't belong here.  

I know there’s someone in this room today who is here and doesn’t really know why.  Well come on down.  You belong here,  This is your place too.

And I know there is someone here today who came because you love your spouse and your spouse wants to be here.  That's a fine reason for being here.  Come on down.  

And I know there is someone here who is trying to connect their kids to something deeper.  You belong too.  

Someone here today came because you felt a little funny about not having been for a while.  You belong at the table too.  

You know what brought you here today.  Whatever it is, it’s as good a reason to be here as anyone else’s.   Just like he did with Thomas, Jesus works with everyone who shows up, whenever we show up, to help us find our way.  The call on this day in this place is for everyone.  Amen.

Jeremiah 1:4-10

The word of the LORD came to me saying,

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

and before you were born I consecrated you;

I appointed you a prophet to the nations."

Then I said, "Ah, Lord GOD! Truly I do not know how to speak, for I am only a boy." But the LORD said to me,

"Do not say, 'I am only a boy';

for you shall go to all to whom I send you,

and you shall speak whatever I command you,

Do not be afraid of them,

for I am with you to deliver you,

says the LORD."

Then the LORD put out his hand and touched my mouth; and the LORD said to me,

"Now I have put my words in your mouth.

See, today I appoint you over nations and over kingdoms,

to pluck up and to pull down,

to destroy and to overthrow,

to build and to plant."

Call.  this is about call.  Or at least I want to talk about call.  Some elements of call.  

Jeremiah’s call echoes a theme we may all recognize, our hesitation…..I can’t do that, you must mean someone else…..there is no way…….

Sermon Preached at St. Aidan’s

Fourth Sunday after Epiphany

February 3, 2013

Most of you know that I serve on the diocesan Committee on Priesthood.  In that work, those of us on the committee spend a lot of time talking and hearing about “call.”  We also spend a lot of time pushing back against the all-too-common idea that “call” has something to do with ordination.  Call is not about ordination. Ordination is one response to a particular kind of call, but they are not the same thing, though that is a common misconception.  Sometimes the language we use encourages such a limited understanding of “call.”   We say things like, “she received the call and went into the ministry.”   (ministry in that sentence, of course is referring to ordained work, but that is not the primary meaning of ministry.  Another common misconception.)   I can remember even hearing people in my deep, Bible-belt-South beginnings speak of call almost as if it were an affliction.  “He was a pretty good old boy until he got the call.”  That kind of talk might make any of us afraid of hearing our “call,” but we have all been called or we wouldn’t be here.  The call to become part of this community, to be baptized and to bring our children for baptism, is itself a life-changing call and here we all are.  

For Jeremiah in today’s reading, call is a commissioning, a sending out on a particular mission.  Jeremiah’s call becomes a life-defining purpose into which he is called to live.   Would that we might all have such a sense of purpose and vocation in our lives.  Maybe the first question for those seeking to live in response to the call of God is where to look for our calling.  How can we figure out where God might be inviting a response from us.  I can think of a few signs that might be worth attending to as we try to discern our call.  Some of them we hear in Jeremiah’s call this morning. 

What have you thought of doing in the world that needs doing that you walked away from because it was beyond your abilities?  Is there a category where you have said, but what can one person do?  or simply, that’s too hard.  What might happen if you worked in that area long enough to challenge those responses.  Maybe it is hard, but not too hard.  Or maybe one person can’t do much but one person can do something.  Or one person can be part of a community that does something.   Maybe the sense that the job is too challenging is itself a sign of call.  Jonah learned that his real call lay in the work he ran away from.  Moses who, like Jeremiah today, told God he was not a gifted speaker, took up the work anyway and discovered that the call really wasn’t about speaking to the crowds as much as it was about remaining faithful to the path in the most difficult of times.  David, king of Israel was the weakest and youngest, almost not presented as a candidate for anointing because he was surely not up to the task. 

In all the stories of call in our tradition, the call is accompanied by a strong response in the one being called that they are not qualified, not capable of fulfilling the work to which they are being called.  That response is the first step in answering the call.  We are called, not to accomplish what we are capable of, but to accompany God into situations where God can make things happen.  Call is always about stepping out in faith, expecting, or at least hoping in some small part of our being that we will be given words, that we will be shown a way,  or that we will meet someone whose call involves helping us in the work we have been given.   When it comes to call, claiming our own inadequacy for the task may be a great starting point.

Another sign of call may have to do with what you care about?  What moves you?  Tugs at your heart?  Gives you joy?   Call always begins with an encounter with God, with a brush with a deep reality that hints of even deeper things.  “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you,” says God to Jeremiah.  The beginning of your call has been in you all along.   Call is grounded in gifts, loves, interests, leanings, maybe--some probably never really examined.   The beginning of call involves trusting that we are all formed for some purpose in the great cosmic work of creating, reconciling, transforming the world.   Call begins with an encounter with God who most often speaks within us.  For many of us, discerning a call involves silence and conversation, it involves spending some time alone with ourselves and it involves sharing those inner conversations with a few other people.  Discerning a call takes a bit of introspection, and it takes a community; a community to help by asking questions about what is important.  To help us listen to ourselves, to what we say and to what we don’t say.  Sometimes it is hard to know what really calls out within us until we hear ourselves speaking about it.  In a spiritual community, the members help each other recognize the kind of encounters with God that can change our course and set us on a new ad purposeful path.  

Another sign of call suggested in scripture has to do with risky places.   Isaiah receives his call in the throne room of God.  Filled with awe and fear he is approached and given his call.  Moses had to approach a miraculously burning bush.  Ananias had to go preach to Paul who was a real danger to Christians.  There is an old adage, if the cost is clear and the pay off is still murky, it is God calling.  If the pay-off is clear and the cost is unclear it is not God.  If you are feeling a nudge to explore some scary place, it might be worth a look.

Or maybe a call involves the recognition that you are the only person who can answer right now.  Simply hearing of the need brings a responsibility to follow through in some way.  

Of course, there is another possibility as we seek to discern our call that may be right in front of us in a way that we can’t always see.  Your call, your purpose in life may be exactly what you are already doing.   I think of Moses who led all those people for all those years.  Sometimes he seemed to wonder how in the world he had ended up in such a God-forsaken landscape with such a bunch of ornery folks.  In times like those he sometimes ended up on a mountain complaining to God who reminded him of his original call.    Like Moses, sometimes we have to look back when purpose gets clouded and our resolve is waning, remember the passion, the first sense of call and wonder and duty and gratitude immersion in a good work. 

As important as recognizing our call is trusting that we will be supported in that work.  That others with their own calls and God who is always with us will help us as we try to live faithfully into whatever vocation is ours.  “Do not be afraid,” says God, “I am with you.”  Wherever you may be sent, you can be sure it will be a place where that last line is true.  “Do not be afraid.  I am with you.”   Amen